The kids are on Spring Break this week and I have to work. I spent the better part of this morning packing bags and shepherding the kids down to Leavenworth for the week where they will spend time with their Grandparents. I am almost drunk on the quiet, imagining the days ahead. Without a doubt, Dave and I are going to luxuriate in the peace and solitude and our ability to be spontaneous. (And also have lots of loud sex.) I have finally gotten to the place in my life where I can look at my children with such love and adoration and yet not miss them at all while they are away. I don't long to have any more children, any more babies, or even hold them again at that early stage for even a moment. I love my kids. I love their ability to laugh, tell jokes, have friends and experiences all their own. I love watching their very different personalities emerge and develop and I love imagining all the amazing adventures they have in front of them. In short, I love that my children have lives of their own. And now I am going to enjoy reclaiming mine. I have been working on my Life List and trying not to dwell on the regret I have for failing to do certain things when I was younger. I try to remind myself that I'm not THAT old. I have been thinking about the following:
*Botox. Fuck it. I am not growing old gracefully.
*Shoes. I love shoes. Why don't I have more of them?
*Dating. Yes, I'm married but when did we stop having fun together? I want more...adventure? I don't know. Something. And I want to have it with Dave.
*Facebook. God, it's retarded. I'm so glad that my teens and twenties were not spent tied to my cell phone or laptop, texting, tweeting, and blogging. Jesus kids, go out and live life.
*Make-up. I just replaced all my make-up and feel like a million bucks. Should have done it sooner
*My figure. Thanks Nanny! God, I love being thin. I'm going to squeeze into a bikini when we got to the beach in June and relish every second of it. Really, I'm not that old.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
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